THINGS TO DO #1

This is it. The moment you've been waiting for.

Tonight, we begin our 14 step guide to survive the zombie apocalypse.
Here is our first of 7 things TO DO when faced with an army of the undead.

#1 WEAR PURPLE.

Yes. It IS this simple. Evidence, rumors and comic lovers suggest that Zombies have a missing neuron in their eyes (among many other missing things, but we digress) that makes them temporarily blinded by the colour purple. When the colour is seen by the zombies, they enter an unconcsious state for a total of 13.76 minutes. Perfect amount of time for a getaway. It is believed that the intensity of the purple can extend this time by almost double. So, in summation, wear as much as you can, as often as you can.


CASE STUDY: JEFF FATT
Australia's favourite band, The Wiggles, rose to success singing lyrically complex and incredibly entertaining children's songs. Their story is known by all, or so Aussies believe...


In 2012 Jeff formally exited the group. Shown below, the four were inseparable, but it turns out they were masking a deep secret.

before:



Greg, the yellow wiggle, left the group abruptly in 2006. The news came as a shock to the nation, but when they media searched for comment, they were found with no answer. no Greg.
Note: Greg was the yellow wiggle. in 2006 there were sightings of Zombies.
PUT THE TWO TOGETHER AND THE ONLY OBVIOUS EXPLANATION IS THAT HE WAS EATEN BECAUSE HE WASNT WEARING PURPLE.


His replacement was found quickly and the group battled on.
Unfortunatley, captain feathersword failed to comment on his eye injury.
I think we all know what happened........
*PURPLE IN HIS FEATHER SWORD/VEST HELPED HIM GET AWAY*

SOON AFTER, Jeff announces his retirement.
He gave up the purple skivvy......
during (probably):

much to the shock of his former colleagues, Jeff has not been heard from since.

#STAYSTRONG











(NB: this post is not intended to harm anyone's feelings, living or dead. ily jeff)